Theater of the absurdGeorgia cat awarded online high school diploma

Published 17 August 2009

A Macon, Georgia-based cat won a GED from Jefferson High School Online; all the cat needed to do to earn her sheepskin was answer fourteen questions — but it could nit have been too difficult: each question offers four possible answers, and you have four tries — with hints — to get each of them correct; there is no time limit

A cat belonging to a U.S. and Canada Better Business Bureau executive has been granted a high school diploma. According to a report by msnbc.com, the two-year-old feline graduated from Jefferson High School Online (JHSO).

The cat, named Oreo, lives in Macon, Georgia. All Oreo needed to do to earn her sheepskin was answer fourteen questions to determine her “elective and life experience credits” — including questions about her level of physical activity and her favorite musical genre — then take an online quiz, which she did with the help of her favorite human, Kelvin Collins, president and CEO of the Better Business Bureau of Central Georgia. The diploma cost $199.

Rik Myslewski writes that JHSO does not ask much from its students. In the Accounting category of the life-experience questions, for example, a drop-down menu lists “Basic” as a skill level below “Balance Check Book.” The quiz includes a series of multiple-choice questions — but unlike tests you took in school, this one includes a “JHSO Test Wizard” that offers hints should you answer any of the exceedingly simple questions incorrectly.

Each question offer four possible answers, and you have four tries — with hints — to get each of them correct. Should that prove too challenging, the instructions soothingly remind you that “There is no specific time limit but remember that you are online and many things can occur during the time it takes you to complete the test.”

The value of a diploma from JHSO is explained in an 850-word essay. Buried near the end of its high-minded verbiage is the admission that “In an effort to keep program cost down and the current motivational based format of JHSO, JHSO has not sought nor been approved by the U.S. DOE, CHEA or DETC organizations and does not represent itself to be an ‘Accredited’ program of any of these organizations.”

Although the achievement of a JHSO diploma, according to the Web site, “can be used to advance in life and gain proof of your accomplishments,” the JHSO administration notes that “each individual employer and institution are [sic] unique and you should check with them prior to completing this program to make sure they will accept it’s [sic] motivational and achievement basis.”

The company behind JHSO, MMDS Ltd., being located in the Caribbean island of St. Kitts.

Myslewski notes that Oreo paid too much for her diploma. Another MMDS Ltd diploma mill, Vencer High School Online (VHSO), offers the exact same service for a mere $174.