The physics of Santa ClausString theory explains Santa Claus
Calculations maintain that the laws of physics should prevent Santa Claus from delivering all his gifts and that Santa would burn up in the atmosphere if he tried; the Norwegian Internet magazine, forskning.no, has put together a team of four top researchers to look into the case; the panel’s conclusion is clear: Santa can do the job and Christmas is saved!
Every Christmas, calculations circulate, under the title “The Physics of Santa Claus,” which cast doubt as to whether Santa Claus could possibly deliver gifts to all the world’s good children — and still remain within the laws of physics. To deliver gifts to all who deserve them, the physicists behind the calculations assert, Santa would need to move so fast that he would vaporize due to air resistance, be torn to pieces by gravitational forces, or suffer other terrible fates we would not wish for Santa Claus.
The writers for forskning.no complain that many fall for these calculations. Yes, there has even been one instance in which a vicar was criticized for using them to explain to small children that Santa does not exist. Luckily, the vicar has apologized to the traumatized children.
How will Santa Claus ensure that all the good children receive their presents and once again save Christmas? To clear up this important question, forskning.no has gathered four Norway’s sharpest researchers: astrophysicist Knut Jørgen Røed Ødegaard, professor of physics Gaute Einevoll, professor of mathematics Nils Lid Hjort, and Elf expert Ane Ohrvik.
They have taken the job very seriously.
Ion-shield
If Santa Claus is to deliver all the gifts to all the good children, his sleigh must fly so fast that he would burn up due to air resistance. It has already been documented, however, that Santa has no problem climbing down a chimney with a fire burning below. So how does Santa solve the problem of heat?
“Santa obviously has an ion-shield of charged particles, held together by a magnetic field, surrounding his entire sleigh. This is how he solves the heat problem,” points out Knut Jørgen Røed Oedegaard, who also casts a new light in the night sky:
“There are many meteor showers in December. Many astrophysicists, including apparently serious ‘celebrity’ astrophysicists at the university, who maintain that these lights in the sky are the result of dust particles that burn up as they enter our atmosphere. But this is nonsense, because they ignore the truth: That the lights are the result of Santa Claus moving out of and into the atmosphere as he travels around
